When Esther was brought into the palace and conscripted into the king’s harem, her uncle Mordecai was barred from the palace. Working within the boundaries he was given, he showed up every day to check on Esther. He found ways to get messages to her. Undoubtedly this helped foster open communication between them that became invaluable in times of crisis. But it took years to build.
In today’s world, walking outside your adult child’s house may not be the best way to keep up with him or her, but there are many methods you can use to demonstrate genuine concern and love and foster a long-lasting relationship.
Children are most open to the influence of those who love them. This is often why they are so receptive to the influence of peers and closed to their parents. Their friends give them acceptance and affirmation, and their parents may give them condemnation. Parents who wish to positively influence their children must focus on meeting their children’s needs for emotional love.
Parents meet that need by assuring their children, “I love you, no matter what.” At times, we may not like their behavior, but that doesn’t mean we withhold our love. It is okay to tell your child, “I may not like what you are doing, but it will not keep me from loving you.” This is true unconditional parental love.
Take time to pray and ask God to…
Guide the words you say to your children;
Help you meet your children’s emotional needs;
Help you show your children unconditional love.
Discuss and reflect:
Do you consider yourself a confident parent? Explain.
Why is it sometimes difficult to give your adult children acceptance and affirmation?
What specifically can you do this week show your children unconditional love?
Consider these passages for further study on Unconditional Love:
Romans 5:8
But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.
I Corinthians 13:1-13
”I may speak in different languages of people or even angels. But if I do not have love, I am only a noisy bell or a crashing cymbal. I may have the gift of prophecy. I may understand all the secret things of God and have all knowledge, and I may have faith so great I can move mountains. But even with all these things, if I do not have love, then I am nothing. I may give away everything I have, and I may even give my body as an offering to be burned. But I gain nothing if I do not have love. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been done. Love takes no pleasure in evil but rejoices over the truth. Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures. Love never ends. There are gifts of prophecy, but they will be ended. There are gifts of speaking in different languages, but those gifts will stop. There is the gift of knowledge, but it will come to an end. The reason is that our knowledge and our ability to prophesy are not perfect. But when perfection comes, the things that are not perfect will end. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I stopped those childish ways. It is the same with us. Now we see a dim reflection, as if we were looking into a mirror, but then we shall see clearly. Now I know only a part, but then I will know fully, as God has known me. So these three things continue forever: faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is love.“
1 Corinthians 13:1-13 NCV
https://bible.com/bible/105/1co.13.1-13.NCV
I John 4:8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
Esther 2:12-18
”Before a girl could take her turn with King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments that were ordered for the women. For six months she was treated with oil and myrrh and for six months with perfumes and cosmetics. Then she was ready to go to the king. Anything she asked for was given to her to take with her from the women’s quarters to the king’s palace. In the evening she would go to the king’s palace, and in the morning she would return to another part of the women’s quarters. There she would be placed under the care of Shaashgaz, the king’s eunuch in charge of the slave women. The girl would not go back to the king again unless he was pleased with her and asked for her by name. The time came for Esther daughter of Abihail, Mordecai’s uncle, who had been adopted by Mordecai, to go to the king. She asked for only what Hegai suggested she should take. (Hegai was the king’s eunuch who was in charge of the women.) Everyone who saw Esther liked her. So Esther was taken to King Xerxes in the royal palace in the tenth month, the month of Tebeth, during Xerxes’ seventh year as king. And the king was pleased with Esther more than with any of the other virgins. He liked her more than any of the others, so he put a royal crown on her head and made her queen in place of Vashti. Then the king gave a great banquet for Esther and invited all his important men and royal officers. He announced a holiday for all the empire and had the government give away gifts.“
Being able to show an example over and over of your unconditional love makes a difference when they need you most. Great guidance from Gary Chapman with seeing the importance story of Esther and the example her story gives us today.
Alecia Stringer’s Devotionals 